Tuesday, August 28, 2012

All the Strangest Humans are Tour Guides


August 21
I’ll be the first to admit that I would not be picked as a human representative if we ever have the need for intergalactic ambassadors. I say this because, in case it isn’t already glaringly obvious, I do not fit the definition of “normal”. I have embraced my strangeness because I believe I have more fun that way, but as a direct result of this, I have a special place in my heart for humans who are odd, strange, or abnormal because we weirdos have to stick together.
That said, Claudia, our Coliseum tour guide was in a category all by herself. Between her tortoise pace, old man hat, and her lack of any knowledge of Roman history, the five of us (mom + my 3 siblings) were torn between hysterical laughter, and the need to smack her across the face. Rather than teach us anything of value, she was insistent upon repeating obvious and well-known facts, laughing at comments that couldn’t be considered jokes no matter what language she said them in, and pointing out the presence of policemen to those of us who were blind as well as hopelessly incompetent. Needless to say, we bailed before she could force us to walk around the slave pit one more time.
Though our escape was 100% necessary to maintain our mental stability, we still felt a twinge of regret when we realized we would be missing out on some important historical sights. This brought us to the decision to visit both the Pantheon and the Trevi Fountain. (Insert stereotypical tourist photo-ops here)
Next came naps back at the hotel, more shopping, and then our last dinner in Rome, so naturally, we find ourselves at a French restaurant. Typical.

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